… because this week, on my usual visit to the big city, I met up with a new man.

We spent a lovely evening together, and my world looks a bit brighter again.
As my next blog entry I had planned – and started to write – a piece about heart-ache and emotional attachment, a danger lurking on the path of illicit affairs and encounters. I had fallen into this trap a couple of years ago (not entirely surprising with a first affair), which I subsequently tried to avoid by a life-style including multiple relationships. And still, very recently I had a sense of déjà vue, got hurt in very similar ways. But enough of this at the moment– that’s the subject of the next post.

With nicer memories and thoughts on my mind, Leo suggested to write them up while they are still fresh. So here it goes …

About two weeks ago I started to chat with Jerry on MaritalAffairs. He fit my parameters quite well in terms of age group (he gave 48), physical description (around 6’), and he looked quite nice on his photograph, although photos on sites like this are rarely very flattering. Soon we exchanged e-mail addresses and continued our conversations on and off in this way. We told each other about our backgrounds and agreed that we would like to meet. We just had to find a suitable date.

Unfortunately, my time in the big city is fairly limited, and often the one evening per week I have there on my own is taken up with all kinds of engagements, or “play-dates” with one of my friends for that matter. Now for this week I had already a “date” planned (with Carl, whom I have not yet met in person, but we have been chatting for a few months, at times quite extensively on skype – once for almost three hours!), but Carl had already indicated at the end of last week that due to business matters he might not make it after all. So we left the final decision until midday of the day in question, and I told Jerry that if he is free on very short notice, we might be able to meet. As it turned out, Jerry’s wife had left that day for a business trip abroad, which left him open to spontaneous planning (talk about fate!), and Carl was quite happy to re-schedule our meeting (knowing that I could make alternative arrangements left him relieved of guilt for “letting me down”).

During the afternoon Jerry and I exchanged a few messages. He admitted to being quite nervous because he had never met up with anyone from the site before (having joined only a few weeks earlier), and not quite sure of how to go about it. He enquired whether I wanted to meet for drinks or dinner, which type of restaurant I preferred, etc. We agreed on a casual meal, in a place not far from my hotel with a laid-back atmosphere and leaving us all options open depending on how the evening would develop.

We took an instant liking to each other when we met (according to science, apparently subconsciously we decide within the first five seconds of meeting someone whether we like a person or not), and sauntered to our restaurant of choice. Over dinner and a bottle of wine, conversation flowed easily, first about our backgrounds, then about the more delicate subject of conducting affairs. When it came to more intimate details, Jerry sometimes blushed, which I found charming and endearing. Fortunately, for most of the time our table was out of earshot of others, so we could talk freely. At one point, after we had finished our meals, he took my hand and caressed it gently, the first physical contact, after a fleeting kiss when we met. It felt good, it felt right – and it felt natural to walk back together to my hotel.

However, there was a minor hurdle to overcome. Because I am a regular customer at my hotel I am quite well known to staff. Since I do have varying partners, even stay there on rare occasions with my husband, I have to be very discreet and avoid being seen with anyone in the public parts of the hotel. I always explain this to my companions, tell them my room number, and ask them to give me a few minutes to get to my room first before they join me. At the same time, at least for me, this adds to the excitement, brings home the forbidden character of what is to follow.

Following this procedure, Jerry joined me within minutes, and immediately we found ourselves in a tight embrace, kissing – hesitantly at first, but getting more passionate quickly. He explored my body with his hands, taking off my top, unfastening my bra, my jeans soon to follow the accumulating heap of clothes on the floor. While he licked and sucked my nipples, teasing and circling them with the tip of his tongue, I slid my hands under his top, feeling the warmth of his body. By now I was lying on my bed, Jerry kneeling beside me, caressing, exploring, stroking me, while I undid his belt and zip, to release him, and reciprocate his tender attention. With our excitement heating up, and having got rid of all remaining clothing, he set out to work the magic of his tongue on my sweet spot. With the help of a finger or two, delicious ripples of pleasure became waves of pure lust and he let me ride the crest of these waves, finally driving me over the edge. Now I was ready for his rock-hard member, not too big, not too small, to enter me and take me to new heights. It did not take long for him to climax, too – although he tried to hold back. His attempts to do so were not very successful, clearly due to a lengthy period of abstinence, as he apologetically explained to me later while we were cuddling up.

Once we had recovered our breath, our conversation again flowed easily from topic to topic, but this time more centred on sexual matters, covering likes and dislikes, positions, previous experiences. All the while we were caressing and stroking each other. Because of our physical closeness and our animated and animating conversation, it did not take long to feel our desires rise again. This time it was me on top, something I rarely enjoy (which I had mentioned to Jerry) but I clearly did this time, very much to his pleasure. Nevertheless, I cannot hold that position for long (too much work for my taste) and soon I found myself under him again. Between thrusts, Jerry asked for my “real age”, and I confirmed that I really was 52, as my profile states. With a grin he admitted that he had taken a few years off his own age, and that he was in fact 58 (which makes a difference of 10 years!) Well, all I can say is that he did the right thing. Not only does he appear younger than his years, but also I would possibly (probably?) not have considered his initial contact message on the site (even if my filters are set to a slightly wider margin than what I consider as my ideal age-group).

After another round of sticky and sweaty exercise on the bed, the time to part company had come. While waiting for him to finish his shower, I threw on a light kimono and lay on the bed, enjoying the afterglow of the evening. On saying our good-byes we agreed to meet again when an opportunity arises, even if it might be a few months before he has a chance to get away again. When he bent down to me, for a final tight embrace, he cheekily slid his finger between my legs which prompted me to threaten not to let him go as yet. Eventually I had to release him, though, and once he was upright, he licked his finger with a grin and twinkle in his eyes – and off he went, accompanied by my giggles until the door closed behind him.

… I paid another visit to “my” swingers’ club. For the last two years, whenever I am in my home-town (which is between two and four times a year), I try to go to the club for one or two evenings during the week I stay there.

The idea of exploring clubs of that kind as a safe alternative to meeting up with men met on-line (at the time I was still fairly green in that respect, although now, after having met a fair number of lovely men I am less worried about my safety) originated in a chat with one of my female friends. She, a lady of considerably proportions, told me in confidence that with one of her former partners she used to frequent clubs. I, never very confident about my looks and generally quite insecure about myself, thought “Wow, if she can do it, why shouldn’t I try this option?” The longer I thought about this idea, the more it grew on me, and I started to research the various clubs and their etiquette on-line. To cut a long story short, during my next visit “home” a visit to one of the clubs in town was on my itinerary.

Of course, the first time is rather nerve-wrecking, not knowing what to expect, how to behave, what to wear. Just to be on the safe side I had a male “chaperone” with me, strictly hands off, but to make sure that I felt comfortable in the club, to avert undesired approaches, and to have a quick escape if necessary. I was pleasantly surprised to find not only the “young and beautiful” there, but mostly people around my own age group (i.e. middle aged), of all shapes and sizes. Many of the people present spotted us as newcomers and were incredibly helpful in showing us around, explaining some of the rules, and generally making us feel welcome. Dressed in a black lace slip, black lace-top holdups, heels and nothing else, I blended well into the crowd at the bar. Soon I started chatting, and my companion, assured that I was in good company, left the club. Within a short while I had the most attractive man of the evening to myself, and we had amazing sex in one of the lockable rooms. I greatly enjoyed this first visit, knew that I had nothing to fear or to be insecure about, and ever since I went there on my own. Nowadays, two years later, I know that there is a good chance that I will see familiar faces, meet people I would even call “friends” of some kind, especially a couple with whom I have an interesting bond. (In brief: she is slightly bi and gets a kick from selecting women for her husband – a lovely man who is a bit shy and reluctant to approach women in the club – to play with and getting a description of events afterwards. However, she rarely joins in, nor does she usually watch.)

So far so good. But what about last weekend?

As it happened, I went to the club on two consecutive nights, Saturday and Sunday. The first night was not spectacularly exciting, although still nice. Quite unexpectedly I met a few people from the usual Friday crowd, which is rather unusual for a Saturday. I spent most of the time chatting with “friends” – some male but most were female – and was told that I should be honoured that the couple I was meeting, my friends mentioned above, were coming out on a Saturday, because apparently that’s their “stay at home” night (in reality they sometimes go to a different club, but not everybody knows that). When they finally arrived it didn’t take long before I was in a lockable play-room with him (selected by her!) and the window was covered – he is not keen on spectators. For some reason his performance wasn’t all that impressive, but then that’s how things go sometimes. After a while she joined us – stroking and caressing me, and she made me climax much better than he did on that occasion. Still, it’s not something I would go for by inclination – it was more a matter of curiosity.

I did not stay on all that much longer after they left, because there just were no interesting men present on that evening. Me leaving an hour before closing time is telling!

Since I had no other plans on Sunday night, I went to the club again. Sundays are usually much quieter – there were a few single men, two single ladies, one or two couples. I got to sit next to a Kurdish man at the bar, and we started chatting, and eventually ended up in a play-room. He was okay, but a little possessive, which is a turn-off for me in such a situation. He also covered the window (which I’m not so keen on with a stranger).

When I returned to the bar, I met another couple I knew from a previous visit (he is 70, takes heart-medication and thus cannot always perform properly. But he has a really dirty mind! She is in her early 60s, but nobody would believe that, seeing her long hair and nice figure).When we said hello, he pulled me towards him, took one of my tits out from my slip and licked and sucked it “to say hello properly”.

I had already assessed the little crowd with some naughty thoughts in mind, but wasn’t sure how to start off something – and my Kurdish friend was definitely not the right partner. I whispered to the older man to “set me up” which was a task right to his liking. So he said something along the lines “Come on, lass” and off we went to the play area. Still in the common parts he pinned me against a pillar, in plain sight of the trail of men that followed us, kissing, caressing, fondling and fingering me – my thong around my ankles – all the while encouraging the on-lookers to participate. Soon I had one guy kneeling before me, licking me, another one fondling my breasts from behind and him kissing and groping, too. It didn’t take long before we all went to a play area – not too big, but still with room enough for 4 to 5 people. By that time my “old” friend was in the background (he might even have got some more guys from the bar, but I’m not sure), although he kept on coming to ask whether I was fine and enjoying myself. At one point I leant forward from my little “cave” to briefly lick and suck him (not with much success, though), but at any time there were four guys around me. Once they had finished with me, a young man of 32 (as I learned later) spoiled me with his tongue – he was amazing!

Later on, in the shower, I chatted with three guys, all very interested in who I was, etc. and we exchanged a few details about our personal backgrounds. I think by the time I returned to the bar, the single ladies had left, and soon the “older couple” also made their way, so I was left with three men and the boss (who had actually let me in free that evening – which he has done on a few previous occasions. Well, I think I did my bit to keep business going!) While we chatted, the young man gave me a fabulous neck and shoulder massage, another one started to stroke me too, and soon I had one again kneeling at my feet, licking me, while I was wanking the two other guys. I am not usually keen on playing in the bar area, but since we were the only ones left, and the boss has seen lots of things anyway, I could relax and really enjoy myself again.

The memories of that evening still made me chuckle while writing this. Not only was it very erotic, but also quite naughty, asking my “old” friend to help me start the fun. At the same time, the process of writing reminded me how far I have come in the last 2 ½ years. Then, I was a sexually frustrated, insecure person, desperate for a little bit of physical attention, and in my mind past my prime – after all I was approaching the big 5 and worried that, if not life as such but at least the sexual aspect of it would finally be over. My situation seemed hopeless, but how wrong was I! During that period – sometimes a bit of an emotional roller-coaster – I turned myself around into a sexually adventurous person, far more open-minded than when I was younger. From strictly monogamous I became polyamorous (more out of necessity rather than by initial choice). I have met many people, obviously mostly men, in cyber-space and in real life. Some of them accompanied me only part of the way while others have become close and intimate (in every sense of the word) friends. They all contributed (and hopefully will continue in future) towards my becoming a sexually liberated and happy woman, with many exciting and wonderful stories to share.