I am Alan, happily married to Sam for 20 years – and known each other for about three years before that. We have always both been very sensual and well into physical sex for the fun.  I fondly remember our very first night together when ‘everything’ happened.  It always causes ‘stirrings’ but that’s for another time!

 About four or five years into our marriage we were always talking about physical feelings, what turned us on, what we’d like to do.  One night we happened to be watching TV late at night, what was on but Hedonism II about the famous (infamous?) swingers resort in Jamaica.  It fascinated both of us and the following week we were there for a second viewing.

 Bits of it – and some of the people  – were not our ‘scene’ at all but as we discussed it, we opened up more about how we each felt on many sexual matters.  Sam wasn’t quite sure how she’d feel about sharing me with someone else though she herself loved the thought of being fucked by a couple of guys – or more!

 A swinging world

 From then on, I was on the internet investigating, and among other things came, across Swingers Europe, a couples dating site (the site was great then, but has since it merged and became SDC has lost its dynamism).  I also discovered the newly-emerging world of swinging resorts including a rather exclusive one in Coast Rica which we later visited – it is now sadly defunct.

 This all totally opened the whole idea of the swinging scene to us, and led us together and individually to appraise and develop our desires, wants and lusts – an old fashioned concept, but none the less useful for that.

 One thing we discovered is that we were both very liberal in our attitude to sex – yes, as I’ve already indicated she wasn’t at first sure of her attitude to me and another woman together and to some extent still isn’t, but overall she is as adventurous as I am.

 

Heteroflexibility

 One thing we did discover is that we both have a liberal attitude to same sex fun.  It came about when we were trading thoughts on types of sex – even kinks perhaps – when she suggested that like all men, I no doubt would love to see her with another woman!

 I admitted I would, whereupon she told me she’d love to play with a woman’s breasts – and then added that she would love to watch me playing with another man!  What is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander, she observed!

 We discussed that one much further over subsequent months (and years in fact) and realised we were both open on the issue – it wasn’t long before we came up with the term ‘heteroflexible’.

 Essentially we have established that we are both primarily attracted to the opposite sex, but that physical (certainly not emotional) activity with the same sex didn’t put us off and was actually something we’d both want to try.

 She had not had any physical sexual activity with a woman up to that point, though she had been approached – sadly, as she now admits, she declined!  As for me, I had had some mid-teenage wanking experience with boys and the thought still excited me.  I’d almost had an experience with some gay guys at college but that never came off.  I often wondered where things might have gone if it had….

 First steps 

So we began to look around at possibilities.  It took us a lot of time but eventually we plucked up the courage to put fantasy into practice.  We had made approaches – and been approached – by couples but nothing came off until 2002.

 It was then I came across Martijn, a Dutch guy living in London.  He was about 30, described himself as bi and after some internet chats with me, we decided fro all three of us to meet him for a drink to see how we got on.  When we met, he seemed pleasant enough, so we decided to meet for fun that weekend. 

It’s worth a story on its own so you’ll have to wait for the gory details!  Suffice it to say, we were all VERY nervous when it came to it, but got through that and had a great time.  Sam got to see me playing with a guy and loved it.  (She saw me on later occasions but eventually reached the point ‘been there, seen that’, often taking a break while he and I have our ‘fun’.  It somewhat rules out meets with guys who will ‘do’ bi if there is a woman present.  Probably just as well because they are not committed, I reckon.)

 Coupling 

Anyway, after that eventually we began to meet others including two meets with another couple, which went well: and she experienced her first woman-on-woman activity.

 Then we came across Steve, and within a few weeks we were in bed with him – and since then have met him many times.  With him it is not just about sex though that of course predominates.  As he says, often it is just fun eating, talking and socialising together, and if sex didn’t come into it one time, so what?  (Not that we have ever failed to have plenty of physical fun as well!) 

We also had a foursome with him and a friend of his, Cassie.  (We intended to meet her again as a foursome but it never happened, sadly).  And then Sam had a 1-2-1 with Steve.  Not sure who’s idea it was… probably I suggested it in chat with Steve and he was up for it, if we both were.  So it was that she and he met a few times in London for illicit nights.  Well, not exactly illicit as I knew all about them.  I gather – I was told – they had a lot of fun. 

Then she suggested he and I should meet alone – ‘you’ll be less inhibited’ – we both laughed at that.  She also suggested that it would suit my bdsm tendencies which it is true I have, but so does she also, perhaps to a lesser degree. 

One to one 

So it went on from there.  One day she suggested she’d like to sleep with an old lover from before my time – they met every few months for dinner anyway – and after she suggested it, he was champing at the bit.  She says he’s a pretty useless lover but she ‘managed’ to sleep with him a few times a year over the next six or seven years! 

I also fixed her up with a couple of guys for overnights, and later on, she began travelling.  This led to a couple of affairs with Canadian guys, one of which ended up being purely platonic – sex of the mind perhaps, though originally she had intended to consummate it.  The other was less satisfactory.   It started well enough but it eventually petered away, as he got less and less interested in the sex – and it appears, he turned into a bit of a grouch.

 Paying for the privilege 

My ‘heteroflexible’ activities developed and I have had a number of meetings with guys, mostly one-off.  Interestingly this activity led on to another surprising diversion.

 Sam and I had discussed sex for money – I had never done it and unlikely I ever will (never say never, of course).  She said she would take money in the right circumstances, why not?

 Then I chatted to Mitch, who was bi, and who I met 1-2-1.  One day he told me that he had paid a couple for sex and had a great time.  How much?  £300 he told me.  Sam would do it for £250 and a bottle of champagne, I said.

 He became very keen, and when I put it to her, she said why not?  Two weeks later it happened.   You can read the story here when I post it… 

 I told another guy – Seb – about it and he was also enthusiastic!  We had plans anyway to meet as a threesome, with him booking a hotel, his usual modus operandi for his fun.  But he suggested staying with us and paying his hotel costs to her instead.   So she came to have her second session for money.  Again, the full story for another time.  She was quite interested in taking paid-for sex even further but it never quite developed.

 Moving on

 The last few years have seen a definite slowing down of our extra-curricular  fun.  She changed jobs and her travel to London and abroad stopped.  We still have the occasional meet with Steve – once a year now instead of five to six times overall.

 Our own sex drives have changed a bit – not downwards, just different.   We both have massive climaxes – mostly generated by manual pleasuring of each other, or the judicious use of vibrators (she gets huge enjoyment from a mains version: if you sneer at such things think again, or come and watch her exploding – it’s a real wonder of the world!)

 And our personal family lives changed for a variety of good reasons. 

 I think it is likely we will resume some activity.  Only recently, Sam got quite excited about a fantasy idea I relayed to her, and is one I will be pursuing…

 I realise I haven’t given you much detail about our desires, fetishes and kinks – this has been rather about how we got into open sex. Those other things will have to wait for another occasion – if anyone is interested, that is!

 Suffice it to say, I have developed to a position where I have no jealousy – I enjoy her having sex with others.  More than that – it is a big turn-on for me, and have encouraged it as much as I can.

 Over the years, she has been slightly ‘bothered’ that things are slightly uneven, in that she might feel jealous of me with another woman (on my own that is; in a group, it wouldn’t bother her).  More recently, she has said it wouldn’t bother her so much and it would ‘only be fair’. 

 But to reassure her, I have indicated that I wouldn’t go 121 with a woman, in case it gave her grief, and anyway, her tolerance of my ‘bi’ inclinations and activities provide a balance.  And she does still urge me to find male physical partners (mind you, she doesn’t want to know what we get up to but is happy for me to get pleasure that way!)

 Shortly I aim to post the details of some of the meetings that I have referred to above… watch this space.