It’s been a memorable 10 days.. I have had gorgeous, timeless, connected and fun sex with five different women, each of whom I have met several times before and will hopefully continue to see for some time to come. One of those is my gorgeous wife, who is aware and sometimes asks for details of my encounters.

I realise that’s an unconventional declaration. In following posts I’ll try to describe how I came to be in this fortunate and socially-questionable position. I’m lucky to find myself with the trust and shared intimacies of such a varied group of women, most of whom are happily married – and are themselves exploring this aspect of their lives in their 50’s. It’s certainly not a numbers game for me, as I stay in touch, normally on WhatsApp, with all of the women that I have seen this year.

Those five women don’t include the two co-authors of this blog, who I have been seeing for longer. I’ll be writing more about playful times with Eve and Claudia, as we each reflect upon and share our experiences by writing this blog for a wider audience. I met Eve almost 5 years ago, whilst I have known Claudia for a year. 

It appears that a combination of technology and shifting social attitudes is leading to quite a number of well educated, happily partnered women and men wanting to re-experience the frisson and fun of sex with others. Whilst that drive has always been there, expressed in ‘conventional’ affairs – the new variant is sex for fun and pleasure – with no intention of breaking up the home life and no prerequisite that there be love, or even the pretence of love. It’s liberating, enlivening and connecting.

I’m not good at writing about sex itself, I’ll leave that to Eve who has the most natural ability to capture the rolling pleasures of the physical side of meeting her various ‘Affs’

The last 10 days are not typical, there just appears to have been an alignment of some sexual constellation.

At 8:15 am on the Thursday before last, I found myself walking through the foyer of a large Hilton in London, destined for Janet’s room on the 14th floor. Janet is very senior in a public organisation in London, lives on the South Coast and has a much older husband. Her bold and determined character had her jumping into this twilight world, with both feet

A few weeks ago Janet, who is in her mid 50s, decided that the third lover she would have in her life was to be a ‘Dom’ she had found on a dating site for married people. This had not gone well – the Dom had been more intent on pleasuring himself and had left bruises on her arms.

Of the 40+ encounters I have heard about from female friends, this is the only time that I have been told of such treatment. When I had met Janet the previous week for the first time, she was still getting over the experience and was talking of ‘retiring’ from all this – even before she had got going.

I talked her out of ‘retirement’ and she agreed to meet me. So the previous week, also at 8:15 in the morning, although in a different Hilton, she and I and met in her darkened bedroom. She wore her black nighty and sat on the corner of the bed. I sensed her natural caution and guardedness. The following hour was the most gentle, slow and connecting sex I have ever had. I lingered over every part of her. Her texts afterwards talked of how healing she had found our time together.

When I met Janet for the second time last week, she was the playful and clear headed person I imagined her to be at work. This time we romped around the bed, she went on top.. she told of a less-than-successful encounter two days previously with a journalist from a national newspaper.

I have only known Janet for a couple of months – but already she has some interesting experiences, which I’ll cover in later posts.

Thursday was very unusual for me.. I haven’t often met with two women in the same day – but that afternoon had arranged to meet Helen at a hotel in Wembley.

I’ve met Helen about 4 times this year – she loves the fun and physicality of sex. We tend to end a bit sweaty.. And laugh a lot. Helen is happily married – though doesn’t expect more than some perfunctory sex from her husband once a month – it lasts 5 minutes. Recently, when her husband’s standard Sunday morning offer has been ‘sex or breakfast’ , she has opted for the breakfast option.

We waited to 3:00pm to check into the room and were naked and playing with each other minutes after getting through the door. We hadn’t seen each other for 5 weeks and the sex was as new and ‘determined’ as the first time.

A week later I was around at Isabel’s house – she lives locally and works from home on Wednesdays. Isabel isn’t married but has a long-term partner who is about 10 years older.. We’ve been seeing each other for about 6 months… Sex is tender and mostly quiet as we become one… I need to take care as she is quite tight, and can find it painful… I am gentle.

The week ended with a train journey to see Jackie, at her home near Croydon. She picked me up from the station. We had been teasing each other by WhatsApp on my way down.. I asked her to wear a skirt, and said I would let her decide whether she wore knickers or not –  she didn’t.

She offered me a tea when we got in, which we recognised to be a social etiquette to be ignored as we went straight upstairs, chuckling.

During our earlier chat, Jackie had ‘apologised’ for going bald, (down ‘below’), at the request of one of her other lovers. When we had first met 3 months earlier I had told her that I preferred the natural, unshaven woman, which I find so much more of a turn-on – I’m sure it’s visual cue dating to some pre-historical time!

Anyway, after our first meeting she had met David, who had asked her to shave. I don’t know why so many men prefer this – cheap porn has a lot to answer for!

That first meeting had been Jackie’s first sex for a year – after a previous five year drought of sex with her younger husband.

We made love for over an hour on their marital bed. Slightly surreal as the world outside passing behind the net curtains. I noticed a neighbour tidying his drive – whilst I held Jackie’s legs wide and gently pushed deeper.

We paused to count how many lovers she had seen since we first met.. we got to six. What a change. Jackie talks of how much confidence and sense of feeling alive she now has – and how this seems to be attracting much more compliments in her ‘normal’ life.

This is an interesting aspects of this alternative life – most of the people I know have multiple lovers and all intend to continue to see most of them. Naturally many couplings drift apart, but the intention is rarely, to just have a one night stand. The extended sexual friendship makes this much more interesting than just sex.

Having said that, Jackie doesn’t tell her men that she sees other men! It’s an interesting approach, however, one that could lead to misaligned expectations.  I am deliberate to tell new women about my other friends – I don’t want any of these relationships to feel exclusive and have found it to be much simpler that way. In two cases in has somehow given permission to my partner to also explore further.

Well… that was a much longer post than I intended – but at least it has got the ball rolling. I wonder where all this might lead..